dont put my face in the paper
i dont want to be forever
and we wont ever die
unless i get shot
he lived in the backyard and also basement
adjacent to the placement of our future dead dog
out of his stomach
came a kernel of corn
up in that closet
i found a big box of porn
we're talking 80s penthouses
big hair 'tween legs
they posed and bent down
and it poked out like a bear among trees
the sun shined on and it flashed
and the camera man was god
shout out my ex uncle in laws,
kelly and todd
your bitch is like a skunk man
shes smelly and odd
now the people in the box are square dancing
that means im watching tv
that means im watching cmt
oh shit
we're watching nascar now
oh shit
jeff gordon just took the pole position at bristol
but rusty wallace about to win that shit
he finna come through
like fuck you
dude studied under sun tzu

enter gravikord

dirty drums
hear them creeping up the stairs
different folks talk in rhythm
words, precision lasers
i saw them on the tv
they played basketball too
i could smell hip hop before i ever arranged
now we're watching mtv
mommy said no no
that shit is weird and mad played out, she said
so turn it off
alright

mr. dress up
canadian televisionist
spent arabian nights with his mistress
he had a foot fetish
the bitch's feet was so big that she took a misstep (x2)

i hiccuped
and mismatched
an outfit
and started a hipster trend
dad put new siding up at uncle jerrys
ford got run over by a chevy that was driven by larry
he was drunker than my uncles
my sister cried and i was salty
new episode of american pickers tonight
i got to take my mind up off this bullshit

im watching tv
and you could never know me
because im the
M.C.F.A.L.L.
mark ass tricks get telled
super sixteens that gonna put you in a spell
go to hell
im already there
relaxing in my chair
jerking off on myself
stroking my beautiful hair
with a universal remote in my hand
im watching cable.